How to Draw the Biggest Rewards by Being Vulnerable

September 10, 2015 by Lorna Faith

“Go where the pain is; go where the pleasure is.” Anne Rice

When we’re feeling the most exposed – the most vulnerable – that’s when we experience fear.

Our fears are real and honest.

When we were kids, most of us were afraid of something – monsters, the dark, thunder and many other fears.

As adults however, instead of hiding from the monster in our closet when we’re afraid, we run from the possibility of sharing our honest self with others.

So what are these fears we face and how can being vulnerable when we’re afraid, draw the biggest rewards?

*Photo created with Canva

What are some of those fears?

There are many different fears we face when we write and share our words with the world. This fear is real and it’s the possibility they might come true, that scares us. Whether your stressed or maybe in denial about the fear, it can drag you down even when you’re focussed on getting through it.

So what are some of the biggest concerns that make many writers afraid?

Fear of being an imposter. When you try something new – like writing a book or a blogpost – you are stepping out into new territory. It’s risky and most of the time you feel like someone’s going to wave a neon sign that says she’s not a real author.
Fear of sharing your work. I remember sharing my first book with my critique partner and being scared of what she would say. There’s always the fear that our writing will be judged poorly.
Fear of failure. We’re scared that we’ll have bad reviews and that our book won’t sell and that people simply won’t like it.
Fear of success. You might imagine that once you have a book that’s successful, they’ll be too many expectations put on you and you won’t be able to write another book that’s good.
Fear of no work-life balance. This is one I fear. And it’s very real, that a ton of work goes into indie publishing, no matter where you’re at on the journey. I often get afraid that I’ll miss out on some of our kids activities because work overwhelm.

All these fears are like a signal, a little like having a pain in our body. Sometimes we can ignore the pain but if it’s bigger it’s a little more serious. When you are feeling more vulnerable and afraid, chances are, that’s a fear you should listen to.

When as an artist, you go where the pain is, you’re going to the place where you’ll have your greatest resonance with readers and your words.

Listen to what scares you. If you’re taking this risk of being vulnerable and exposing yourself to the world, more than likely it’s something worth doing. If it wasn’t worth doing, you probably wouldn’t have fear around it.

Brene Brown, in her incredible TED talk, says we have these fears because we are vulnerable. When we look at someone else and we see them being vulnerable and taking a risk and doing something other people don’t do, we see it as courage.

But, when we see vulnerability in ourselves, we see it as weakness and we say “if I’m feeling afraid it’s because I’m weak.”

When in fact it’s when we recognize that that vulnerability – their courage – that we see in others, this is the filter we need to see ourselves through. When we do that it will give us strategy on how to be brave.

So how do we bravely do what scares us?

Fear is basically waiting for something bad that hasn’t happened yet.

When you’re writing your book, you might be afraid someone will judge you, that you won’t make your deadline or that your reviews will be bad.

The biggest way to push past fear is to start doing something with our creativity.

Yes your fears are legitimate, honest and very real, but I’ve noticed when I write what I’m scared of – like I do in this blog – that somehow it helps me to sort through what makes me afraid and where I feel the most vulnerable.

For example, right now my biggest three fears I’m facing are around putting my first non-fiction book out into the world and the online class that goes with it on how to Write and Publish Your First Book. It scares me silly. I think my biggest three fears connected with that are: fear of sharing my work that it might be judged poorly; fear of being an imposter because it’s new for me; and fear of failure that despite hundreds of hours involved creating it, people won’t like it.

However, I went through a bunch of fear when I published my first fiction book, and when I actually finished the book and published it, somehow it gave me confidence that I could do this again. That’s what I remember and it helps me to be brave to try the next new thing.

Here’s the thing. No matter where you are along the journey as a writer, you’ll always face fear in one form or another. What important is that you practice countering that fear and risking vulnerability anyway.

People who take risks by being vulnerable – where they go out in the world and open themselves up – those are the people who become the most connected and have the strongest sense of worthiness and belonging.

This is how you can draw the biggest rewards by exposing the authentic you.

So be inspired by Brene Brown’s words today as you shake off fear through creative action:

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change. It’s also the birthplace of joy, faith and connection. To create is to make something that has never existed before. There’s nothing more vulnerable than that.”

Have you had moments where you’ve felt rewarded from being vulnerable in your writing? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.

*Photo created with Canva

How to Push Past the Fear of Launching Something New

September 8, 2015 by Lorna Faith

Have you ever felt fear when you’ve put something out into the world?

If you’re launching your first book, service or product, it’s a scary feeling.

I remember when I had finally finished my first book and then decided to launch it on Mother’s Day weekend. I felt like my whole body was nervous. There was a pain in my stomach and a tenseness over the real possibility that it would be a big flop.

I’m having similar scary moments as I’m getting ready to launch my first online class on how to Write and Publish Your First Book.

With my first book and now with the class, I’ve felt like I’ve done my best, wanting to help people and make a difference in others lives either through entertainment or educating others.

Yet, secretly I ask myself all these questions. Is anyone else going to value it? Would they purchase it only to really wish they hadn’t or to ask for their money back? Was I just wasting my time? Did I have enough talent and ability to create something that other people wanted?

I had all these questions and fears wondering how many people would be interested in what I had to say. There have been so many what ifs and no real answers. I’ve felt a bit like I’m walking on a tightrope with no safety net. That at any moment I’m going to fall and that will be the end of my hopes and dreams.

Have you ever felt like that?

So how do we push past the fear and put something we create out into the world?

*Photo created with Canva

A Little Known Secret

There’s a little known secret I’ve learned from successful bloggers and authors.

It’s this. They still have fear when they launch a new book, online course, membership site or anything new, even if they’ve already put quite a few products into the world.

I’ve discovered they have a different mindset. Successful authors, bloggers and creative entrepreneurs still ship what they’ve created even though they are scared of the unknown result.

Inaction makes your fear bigger and immobilizes you, but taking action helps you push past fear. [Tweet this]

When you launch something new, you silence fear when you move forward anyways.

I’ve realized that I’d rather try and fail a bunch of times, then sit back and wonder what might have been.

So even though it can be downright scary to push ‘send’ on that email, or publish the book you’ve just written, do it anyway.

That’s what I’ve been learning to do, even though my stomach is knotted with anxious thoughts, each time I put out something new into the world.

A big part of launching something new is to be persistent and to find creative ways to keep putting your valuable product or book in front of people.

However, the most important takeaway, is to keep your heart in the right place.

There are people out there who desperately need your information that you’ve created. It could be life changing for them.

Sometimes we spend so much time processing, researching and writing down the information, we forget what it’s like for someone who is brand new to learn and benefit from it.

The first time a reader soaks in your words, your book might be like finding water in a dry desert. [Tweet this]

Sometimes it’s easier said than done to believe that what we’ve created will have value to others. Many times our fear, hesitation or feeling of lack comes from thinking too much in your own head.

We can rationalize away why our product isn’t good enough – and tell ourselves:

there are others who can do this so much better than us
people would probably like to spend their money elsewhere
our prices are too high(even after we’ve evaluated other products like ours on the market)

Yet, even though we can use rational judgement to rule the day, we must remember our hearts.

Deep inside we want to see transformation and to see others become a success. Our hearts tell us that the content we’re teaching is life changing for others, because it was life changing for us.

We truly want to make a difference in lives of others.

When all is said and done, if you have created something that can transform someone else’s life in some way, why wouldn’t you want to share it with others?

So if you’ve been hesitating on launching a new product or service, keep walking and set your vision on the top of the mountain, because you weren’t created to stay stuck in the valley.

You can push past fear and launch something new.

How do you push past fear when you launch something new?

*Photo created with Canva

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5 Rituals That Increase Your Creativity

September 3, 2015 by Lorna Faith

“Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it; they just saw something and connected the dots. It seemed obvious to them after a while.” Steve Jobs

When you look at very creative people, you can see that sustained creativity – having a lot of creative ideas over time – doesn’t come – from just a one time flash of inspiration.

That first insight, might help get the idea started, but what keeps creative people going is the set of rituals they set up in their lives that serve as the foundation for getting remarkable things done.

So what are some of these triggers successful creatives use to inspire their creative flow?

*Photo created with Canva

5 Rituals that Increase Your Creativity

Your creative source – that place where your creativity comes from – needs care and regular habits that will help the creative juices to flow easily. Besides the basics like good sleep, healthy food, lots of water and exercise, your muse has other needs.

Often, we need everyday triggers to encourage the artist within.

Here’s a few rituals or habits that many successful creative people do to expand their creativity.

1. Get involved in something that is deeply meaningful to you. Creativity as both a lifestyle and as what we do in our everyday work, is a daring and yet rewarding adventure. Sometimes it’s a real challenge to keep doing what you love, especially when you have other obstacles facing you – like lack of time or money.

But, when you are doing something that means a lot to you, and you’re willing to put in the hard work and discipline you need to get it done, you feel more fulfilled. This is why it’s so important to remind yourself everyday of what is truly important to you and fully commit to doing the daily discipline you need to pursue that.

2. Set up triggers that help you create. Have you thought about how you structure your days? What triggers your creative and productive mind?

For instance, I wake up at 5:30am, go for a walk, come home, make a green tea and head upstairs to write. That’s my morning ritual.

Maya Angelou only wrote in small hotel rooms. Jack Kerouac touched the ground nine times before sitting down to write. Rituals that we do everyday, help to trigger our minds to get us into a creative rhythm. When you keep a regular discipline everyday, you save a lot of mental energy for the creative thinking.

3. Try new experiences. It might even be something as simple as going on a nature walk. As I walk, my creativity flows.

Walking in nature can be a compelling catalyst for creativity. [Tweet this]

Many writers have experienced more ideas and got answers to where they are stuck by simply getting out in nature.

Exposing yourself to new experiences an d stretching yourself is important and will help you be even more creative. Because creative growth begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Also, when you set up rituals where you are constantly stepping into new experiences, you are able to dance you way past the biggest barrier to thinking outside the box: Fear.

4. Listen to Your Intuition. Intuition are gut feelings and thoughts that come from deep with your subconscious and comes from a combination of past experiences and how you perceive your present moment. It’s important to listen to your intuition.

When you come to a difficult decision, explore all the information and facts so you know as much about the decision you need to make, and then really listen to your God-given instincts.

Most creative people realize that trusting their gut instinct – or intuition – is much like trusting your true self. When you trust your authentic self, the greater the likelihood you’ll have of making your goals – and dreams – come true.

5. Learn and study the work of Mentors. Most world-class performers in all kinds of fields – artists, dancer, writers, musicians, entrepreneurs – had awesome mentors and role models who proved that practicing was worthwhile and rewarding.

Watching and observing a mentor you want to learn from, gives you a clear idea of what you want to create for yourself. It unlocks a ton of motivation. Because as humans, we are very social, when we get an idea that we’d like to move to the next level above us, that’s what motivates us. Many times we think they did it, so I can do it too.

Mozart did this later on in his career, when he heard Johann Sebastian Bach’s music for the first time. He listened and then a year later started adding Bach’s use of counterpoint into his own music. Mozart’s music suddenly had a new creative dimension to it.

So studying people in your field who are very good at what they do, can help expand your own creative output. When you are introduced to new ways of thinking and doing things, you only expand your creativity and get better at your craft.

As writers and creative people, our job is to create. Our purpose is to share what we have right now… to come as we are and give it our best shot.

So don’t let your inner critic or self doubt, stop you from doing what you do best and sharing your creative gifts with the world.

Are there rituals you have that help inspire your creativity? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

How to Handle Uncertainty and Criticism as a Author

August 27, 2015 by Lorna Faith

“Uncertainty is about what goes on in your head, your heart, and your gut as you strive to create anything truly extraordinary. It’s about the nutty things we do, the gremlins we battle, the decisions we make and actions we take in the pursuit of long-term, large-scale creative, artistic, entrepreneurial, and organizational greatness.” Jonathan Fields Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance

A little while ago, I made the decision to go all in – to become a full-time author entrepreneur.

I’ve felt like I jumped off a cliff, without knowing how to swim.

I’ve also had a lot of sleepless nights wondering about a lot of what ifs: What if what my gut – which is telling me to do this thing – is wrong? What if this ends in a big failure – both creatively and financially?

Diving into what feels like the scary unknown is what uncertainty is all about.

As I’ve been reading from Jonathan Fields’ book Uncertainty, I’ve gleaned some wisdom on how others deal with these moments of what feels like leaping into midair.

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4 Keys to Help Authors & Creatives Deal with Uncertainty

1. To have success as a innovator or creator of anything, includes high levels of uncertainty.

Since being a author or creating anything new, doesn’t come with a map or blueprint, there is naturally a ton of uncertainty that we have to deal with. Jonathan Fields puts it this way,

“Success as an innovator is partly determined by the ability to manage and at times even seek out sustained high levels of uncertainty, bundled lovingly with risk of loss and exposure to criticism.”

As writers, this risk of loss and learning to handle criticism is something we have to deal with all the time. I don’t believe this risk goes away. There will always be risk and possibility of failure when you put something of yourself out into the world. Many times you spend months or years writing your book or creating your class and then you ship it to a market that may or may not want it.

There is real risk not only to your self esteem, but also financially when you choose go all in. I’ve struggled with learning how to handle criticism – something which every author faces at some point. Also, even with a safety net in place, I worry over lack of money. My husband is supportive and tells me regularly to keep creating and stop thinking the worst. In Jonathan’s book, he tells readers to write out what you fear the most. That way its’ out there and you’ve faced it. When I thought about it, I realized my worst fear would be that I would need to go back to a regular paycheck – and therefore not write as much as I love to do – if this doesn’t work out. But, I can’t let that fear of failure or any other looming beast, stop me from trying to do this. You shouldn’t either.

2. Learn how to harness and ride the butterflies.

Fear, for most of us, really wants to take over our life, not matter what new thing we’re trying. It’s what Steven Pressfield calls resistance and how as creatives we need to slay the dragon of resistance.

As writers, we need to not only realize that fear is entirely normal, but to begin to think of these feelings as butterflies which are not a threat to us, but instead are beautiful. In his amazing book, The War of Art, Steven Pressfield says: Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.

So, I’m learning to harness the butterflies – or nerves – to help bring to life the authentic expression of who I am. Try it for yourself the next time you feel fear over writing something.

3. Certainty anchors help create structure around the process.

When you are living an uncertain life, with no specific structure or job-like rhythms, you have to create your own ritual or rhythm. As a author entrepreneur, I am learning to make my own routine and to stick with doing a task until it is finished. Then I take a little break and start on the new project. I’ve learned how to do this better as I’ve been finishing my first online class on how to Write and Publish Your First Book. There’s been days when I’ve got more writing done than other days, but I’ve been learning how to structure my time better.

I use a Count Down Timer, set it for 25 minutes at a time and write focussed for that amount of time. It’s been unbelievable how much that has helped me to get done. Seriously, you should try it. You’ll be amazed at how many words you can get written with a set, focussed time.

I also have a set amount of time that I meditate first thing in the morning. I feel more peaceful and it also is a way to train your brain to be more receptive to creativity and new ideas.

4. Find your optimal Creative Windows.

As writers, we constantly have new ideas for books and other things we’re working on. I know I have ideas for fiction, for non-fiction books, blog ideas and podcasts all the time. It’s something that never ends, but that’s where my energy comes alive.

Jonathan Field’s take on this is that balance is a myth, because life is messy and it’s supposed to be. However, he says, an important part of the creative process of any individual or team is the ability to step out of the process on a regular basis and ask the big questions, to see the forest beyond the trees.

I’m learning to find the windows when I’m most creative and to jot down notes of ideas I have throughout the day. Also, I have a family that pulls me out of the ‘abyss’ if I get too immersed in my writing world:)

This was a great book, and just what I needed to inspire me and give me the insight I needed about dealing with uncertainty, risk of loss and criticism. I hope you get a chance to read this book. You never know, it might help you gain a new understanding of yourself and how to deal with your life as a writer.

Have you gone through moments of uncertainty as a writer? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

*Some of the above links are affiliate links and help to support this blog

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